Your favorite villain is back and as a Libra the only religion I practice is self care. Glamour magic is simply self care with intention, beauty with purpose, affirmation as ritual. So let’s level up our devotion to ourselves because baby its not a coincidence you’re reading this.
Welcome to your villain arc.
So you want to be a level 10 NARCISSIST, come closer. If the word “witchcraft” makes you picture old ladies with warts or Tumblr teens in 2014, let me upgrade your brain in ten minutes flat.
HOW DOES GLAMOUR MAGIC WORK?
Everything in the universe — your phone, your ex, your new Gucci boots, the coconut-milk foam on your latte — is made of energy. Tiny vibrating particles that are mostly empty space. Science says those particles don’t even decide what they want to be until somebody looks at them. (Google “double-slit experiment” later when you’re high, trust me.)
Translation: Reality is a choose-your-own-adventure book and your attention is the finger flipping the page.
Witches figured this out way before the men in lab coats. We just used better outfits.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR REALITY…NO ONE ELSE BUT YOU..MAGNIFICENT YOU!
When a witch “casts a spell,” she’s not begging some made up bearded sky daddy. She’s deliberately pouring emotion (desire, anger, love, pettiness) into the energy field and telling those particles, “Listen up, we’re doing it MY way now.” That’s it. That’s the whole trick.
Look into your eyes until your face feels like a portal.
Call the version of you that carries that energy.
You already do mini versions of this every day:
– Repeating “I am hot, I am rich, I am unbothered” in the mirror? Spell.
– Wearing a killer red dress because you want everyone to stare? Glamour magic.
– Lighting a candle and making a wish? Literally a fire spell.
Hollywood moves with an occult hand, feeding the aesthetic to us before we even know we want it.
The Craft (1996): four teenage girls say some words, light some candles, and suddenly boys fall in love and bullies get crushed by windows.
“We’re not joining the occult.
We’re rewriting it.
NARCISSIST is building a coven for the future.”
American Horror Story Coven: witches in perfect eyeliner and designer threads bringing people back from the dead while serving looks with witty dialogue.
The Love Witch: a manic pixie dream girl in 60s mod dresses murders men by making them fall too hard. The wardrobe alone is a masterclass in seduction spells.
Fashion people understood first. Red lipstick = “notice me” frequency. All-black = “I’m untouchable” frequency. Rihanna wearing the Pope’s hat to the Met Gala = “I’m the new religion” frequency. Clothes are wearable spells. Change your outfit, change the particles around you.
Self-care girlies just slapped a softer filter on the exact same thing. “Positive affirmations” are spoken spells. Vision boards are sigils. Moon-water face mist is a potion with better branding. Same ancient tech, new Pinterest mood board.
There is no “correct” way to be a witch, because witchcraft is a craft — like makeup, like styling, like art. Some people use crystals and herbs. Some people just write their enemy’s name on toilet paper, flush it, and call it a day. Narcissist likes to go to the beach and screams her spells out to the universe. All work if you pour real feeling into it.
Witchcraft is all around you!
Even the mundane world is low-key pagan and doesn’t realize it. Think about the birthday song. We gather in a circle (coven formation), place a flaming talisman on a sweetened offering (cake), chant in unison while staring at the fire, then violently extinguish it with breath (your life force) while secretly making a wish (a spell). And the consequence? You age one year. Every. Single. Time. You age. (I stopped doing this a long time ago! I’m a Libra..I get emo about my birthdays..so I actually like to spend it alone lol)
So if you’ve ever:
– felt hotter after wearing full head to toe designer
– manifested a text from someone the second you stopped caring
– walked into a room and the energy shifted
…congratulations, you’re already a witch.
The universe is just particles waiting for a main character to tell them what to do.
Be that main character.
BE A NARCISSIST!
So next time someone calls you crazy for manifesting a rich husband, the perfect house, and poreless skin, just smile and say, “Darling, I’m not self-obsessed. I’m a witch. The universe is my mirror, and today it’s serving moi.”
Because in the end, the greatest glamour spell of all is refusing to accept a reality that doesn’t revolve around you.
I, NARCISSIST, THE BLUE FLAME, MADE A SPELL FOR ALL NARCISSISTS!
THE NARCISSIST GLAMOUR SPELL
Speak this into a mirror. Slowly. Like you already own the world.
“I call my light to the surface.
I call my power to my skin.
I become the version of me the universe can’t ignore.”
“Every cell in my body rises into alignment.
Every particle bends toward my intention.
Every room shifts the moment I enter.”
“I am magnetic.
I am unforgettable.
I am chosen by the things I choose.”
“My face is a sigil.
My body is an altar.
My aura is a spell that wraps the world in my frequency.”
“I don’t chase.
I radiate.
I attract everything that vibrates at my level.”
“I walk in beauty.
I walk in power.
I walk in truth so bright it blinds my past.”
“I am the fantasy.
I am the mirror of what others wish to be.
I am the timeline where I always win.”
“My presence is command.
My silence is influence.
My glow is prophecy.”
“What I embody becomes real.
What I desire becomes mine.
What I choose becomes law.”
“I am glamour.
I am spellcraft.
I am the witch and the miracle.”
WORDS BY: KIMBERLY MORTENSEN
MOODBOARDS BY: MADELINE TORRES